What a Wonderful World...
I am quite fascinated by the very angsty undertones this blog is starting to assume. Fascinated, but not particularly pleased with this gradual assimilation of teenage hormonal imbalance, because I personally believe that outward expression of emotional turmoil rather impairs one's intellectual development.
Which is why I have decided, on the eve of the Chinese New Year, that this blog should begin to talk about happy things in general (good grades, happy-ever-after-stories....erm... good grades), and shed the gloom and doom that so pervades this increasingly Gothic mass of HTML and C++.
Think happy thoughts... think happy thoughts...
It should seem extremely fortunate that the Gods have heard the happy thoughts I am trying desperately to conjure, and acquiesced to my will. For, in the past 2 weeks, marvelous things have started happening. In fact, quite aside from the fact that the Mathematics department has found time to ravish my already devastated Mathematics grade, life's been quite the bed of roses thus far.
It all started last Friday, when for some odd reason I hit form, and began debating with a sudden clarity, a magical perspicuity. Everything just sort of fell into place, and I started impressing the judges. For once in my debating career I was actually saying things correctly. And the rosy little cherry on top of the chocolate fudge cake came when the judges decided I'd done well enough to win my first ever Best Speaker award, and at the National's no less. And unless I am becoming arrogant (or at least, more so than I already am), I seem to be debating with far more confidence and accuracy than I normally am.
And just a few days ago, I was playing around with the drums, and sounded pretty good. Good enough, at least, that Kelvin should decide I was Buckley Talentime worthy, and should drum for them at the New Year's Performance! In fact, quite aside from the fact that they should replace me later on with a more proficient drummer and that Buckley should go on to lose horribly, I was for once being recognized for whatever musical ability I should possess.
Right now, as I mooch around in front of a computer screen and blog for all the world to see, I'm beginning to think this is a sign of things to come. Good things, mind, and I'm not complaining. The New Year looks to be a good one for me, if anyone.
But truth be told, I am rather afraid. 4th place at Talentime is not a good sign for Buckley. Nor does it bode well that so many happy things should be happening to me all of a sudden. What if I should suddenly run out of steam at NCS, then we crash and burn? Will I even speak in NCS?
But wait -- I apologize for letting all my insecurities loose in one miserable paragraph. You must realize, that for someone who should interpret being "Between Worlds" as a poor, deranged soul contemplating suicide, it is very exhausting to suddenly write of Best Speaker trophies and Talentime 1st-placings.
At any rate, whilst I begin to reprise my role as the eternal online pessimist, it must be noted that, quite possibly, the outward expression of an inward insecurity is a means of balancing my emotional equilibrium. It is a sort of internal check and balance, through which I cathartically stave off the beast that's roaring inside of me.
Which should mean that my blog is no more the media of entertainment I intended it to be. In fact, unless one should derive sadistic pleasure from watching the angst-driven, misery-motivated rants of a poor, tormented soul, then why bother?
Go think some happy thoughts of your own.
Which is why I have decided, on the eve of the Chinese New Year, that this blog should begin to talk about happy things in general (good grades, happy-ever-after-stories....erm... good grades), and shed the gloom and doom that so pervades this increasingly Gothic mass of HTML and C++.
Think happy thoughts... think happy thoughts...
It should seem extremely fortunate that the Gods have heard the happy thoughts I am trying desperately to conjure, and acquiesced to my will. For, in the past 2 weeks, marvelous things have started happening. In fact, quite aside from the fact that the Mathematics department has found time to ravish my already devastated Mathematics grade, life's been quite the bed of roses thus far.
It all started last Friday, when for some odd reason I hit form, and began debating with a sudden clarity, a magical perspicuity. Everything just sort of fell into place, and I started impressing the judges. For once in my debating career I was actually saying things correctly. And the rosy little cherry on top of the chocolate fudge cake came when the judges decided I'd done well enough to win my first ever Best Speaker award, and at the National's no less. And unless I am becoming arrogant (or at least, more so than I already am), I seem to be debating with far more confidence and accuracy than I normally am.
And just a few days ago, I was playing around with the drums, and sounded pretty good. Good enough, at least, that Kelvin should decide I was Buckley Talentime worthy, and should drum for them at the New Year's Performance! In fact, quite aside from the fact that they should replace me later on with a more proficient drummer and that Buckley should go on to lose horribly, I was for once being recognized for whatever musical ability I should possess.
Right now, as I mooch around in front of a computer screen and blog for all the world to see, I'm beginning to think this is a sign of things to come. Good things, mind, and I'm not complaining. The New Year looks to be a good one for me, if anyone.
But truth be told, I am rather afraid. 4th place at Talentime is not a good sign for Buckley. Nor does it bode well that so many happy things should be happening to me all of a sudden. What if I should suddenly run out of steam at NCS, then we crash and burn? Will I even speak in NCS?
But wait -- I apologize for letting all my insecurities loose in one miserable paragraph. You must realize, that for someone who should interpret being "Between Worlds" as a poor, deranged soul contemplating suicide, it is very exhausting to suddenly write of Best Speaker trophies and Talentime 1st-placings.
At any rate, whilst I begin to reprise my role as the eternal online pessimist, it must be noted that, quite possibly, the outward expression of an inward insecurity is a means of balancing my emotional equilibrium. It is a sort of internal check and balance, through which I cathartically stave off the beast that's roaring inside of me.
Which should mean that my blog is no more the media of entertainment I intended it to be. In fact, unless one should derive sadistic pleasure from watching the angst-driven, misery-motivated rants of a poor, tormented soul, then why bother?
Go think some happy thoughts of your own.
posted by Jumbiez at
5:17 AM
1 Comments:
haha everyone needs a good rant every now and then. you do it more directly than me
By
nigelfong, at 10:07 AM
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